I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
