At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
