I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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