Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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