I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
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remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
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My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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