oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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