Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
