You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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