i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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