did you get engaged???
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Did I show you my penis last night?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
