I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize