im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
