woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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