The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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