I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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