I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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