beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
