I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
