ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
