i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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