he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
