I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
