I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
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we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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