puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
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