can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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