It's like God shit irony all over that family
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The feeling are messing with the penis
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
