I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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