ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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