then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
