You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
