i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
