Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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