just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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