I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize