Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
there is glitter all over my balls
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