The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize