he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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