He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize