Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
