The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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