My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize