She's JV to your varsity
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
