Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
