Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
