I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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