I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
