please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
