Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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