so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
