I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
