The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
