Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
