I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
