trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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