I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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