You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
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