Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize