I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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