Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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