are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
