My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize