My hand turned me down
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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