I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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