I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
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