If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
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