I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
A bitchslap is in order.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize