There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
FUCK WHALES
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
